Just Started

Hi Everyone. I'm new to this. I'm fighting the urge to tell all my friends that I set up a blog, but honestly, I feel like I'm gonna use this as a tool to annonymously find out from the world of you bloggers out there some realistic realities on life. I personally am an incredibly educated young woman (27.5 and am weeks to submitting my PhD dissertation) and know that I've had it better than a lot of people in this world. And I'm completely grateful. I have considered myself as a strong person who knew young in her life what she wanted to do. I was lucky enough to have the support and love of my parents in growing up and have benefited greatly from their advice in life. I truly respect and love my parents and think that they are amazing people, lots of other people would agree with me :) After my first degree I decided to move to the other side of the world to pursue my PhD. I didn't take any break and I've been working strong. I've done amazing things in my PhD studies, and it has been a fast-track 4 yrs. I will tell you that truly getting a PhD is one of the hardest things you can do in your life. It hasn't really been fun at all and I have totally spit blood for this. So all you non-academics out there please don't think that I think I am above you or something silly like that. I am an incredibly humble person and always put myself last. But I have managed to do great interesting and exciting things with my life until this point and I have many doors open to me. And in that sense I'm so excited to be finishing this period of my life and having the chance to really be happy again. within the first year of moving to this other country I met a guy. I decided that I loved him and he really loved me. I wanted to get married anyway, I felt that I was ready and I wanted to have kids. So we got married. And nine months later we had a beautiful baby girl. And let me tell you, she is so wonderful! I have poured all of what is good and right in me straight to her. She is a strong person that I truly look forward to being a friend to like my Mom was to me. She is now 2.5 yrs old and it hasn't been an easy four years what with raising a daughter, working non-stop full-time on a PhD, having relationship problems with my husband and then realizing finally that I'm the one that I have to rely on, most suddenly in life now that I am here on the other side of the world. My husband is from here. He doesn't have the world view I have and it makes things difficult. I have found that many of the ideals I had for relationships and realities of what people are able to give and what other people live with in life are really very different from what I always thought were true. So while professionally I am really in a fantastic place in my life, and that as a mom I have a fantastic child, my own personal life is just a mess and it makes me jealous of those who have simpler lives with their husbands and they are truly happy. I want to be happy. I want to learn about the world. I want to understand my husband more, but more importantly, I want him to understand me more and be more sensitive and open his mind. I'm open to him, I'm sensitive to him, why can't he do the same? So, this blog is most likely going to be an incredibly personal thing and I hope I can learn from this global world of bloggers to get some perspective on my own life situation and gain understanding from you guys out there, all without letting on to the world around me how much things aren't the way I wish they were. Smiles to the outside, furrowed brows inside. On top of all of this I've always been an incredibly outgoing and optomistic person! I want to return there. Someday soon I hope. Thanks and happy blogging.